Things right now are hard. I cannot sugar-coat it and will not try. With the war happening in Ukraine, the pandemic still spiking and receding, and political tensions at an all-time high (at least here in the US), things are really hard right now. You are probably feeling it, too. It’s sort of like that vague sensation you know will be a headache later always taking up part of your mental processing. Except this is a bigger pressure. More like that looming deadline you aren’t sure if you can hit, and it just won’t go away.
Unlike a deadline, things aren’t really seeming like it’s going to pass anytime soon. While the pandemic seems to be easing as Omicron’s spike drops (again, this being in the US; I’m not sure how things are elsewhere), there’s always the threat of another variant. However, there is hopeful information coming out of various sectors with new vaccines and treatments rolling out that are turning this pandemic into something more endemic, like the flu, where we just need to get our yearly boost and keep an eye on folks who could be affected by it.
Though I will say, wearing a mask during cold and flu season has made it so I haven’t gotten sick once. It may be anecdotal, but that’s been a very small silver lining to masking all the time.
Then we have the unfolding war in Eastern Europe, which… right now I don’t have words for it. As a historian, I cannot say I’m surprised by any of this, really. I’ve been watching things trending in this direction for a while. That said, knowing something is going to happen eventually is very different from seeing it occur in real time. My heart hurts for Ukraine and its people as well as for the Russian people who I know don’t want this to happen. I do, however, categorically condemn the actions of the Russian state and stand firmly behind Ukraine for whatever that is worth.
With all of this going on, it’s hard to find places to turn and ways to separate yourself from the endless circus that’s happening in the media with constant neon lights telling us to, Panic, panic, panic! from all sides. That isn’t to diminish the seriousness of what’s happening, but unlike the “good old days” when the news was on in the morning and at night, the 24/hr news cycle does unquestionably feed on attention, and what better way to get that than to keep a constant flow of disaster headlines. That isn’t to say I hate the media, but I also recognize that businesses are going to manipulate people to keep their attention, even if the content they’re serving is factual.
Even social media is, so often, a huge and constant flow of “DOOM AND GLOOM AND HATE AND ANGER AND RAAAAAAAGE!” to the point where scrolling through it has only made people feel worse. Again, that’s done on purpose because things that make people scared or angry drive engagement more than cute, happy things. I don’t hate social media and use it a lot, but being mindful that the more you engage with negative and frightening things, the more it will show you has shaped my social media usage significantly.
So what do we do with all of this? Where do we go? How do we step back?
While what I’m doing obviously won’t work for everyone, the foundations of my solutions may be useful to folks to help stem the tide of “AAAAAAAH!” going on in the background.
Unplug
This isn’t to say delete your social media and go live in a cabin in the woods, as tempting as that is. Instead, consider turning off notifications for a while (if you can) or at least changing the notifications you get from your social media and news apps. Or turn off your data on your phone. While on your computer, squash the compulsion to keep Facebook, Twitter, et al open in a tab in your browser. Instead, check in only when you need to or limit your time.
If you’re using these platforms for marketing, like I am, consider instead logging into something like Hootsuite where you can post to your social media, schedule posts, and so on without being sucked into the feed. In your downtime, you can certainly check in with your friends, but spending hours and hours scrolling will not help your mental health.
Train the Algorithm
This means that instead of interacting with everything on social media, only interact with the content you want to see more of when it comes to your personal feed. Interact with the things that make you happy. Pet photos, pages that share things that spark your interests (I share a constant flow of beautiful photos to my personal pages, for example), or things that you want to support your friends through.
You can teach the algorithm the content you want to see, and at this point my social media feed is posts from my friends and associates about their lives, pretty pictures of castles and villages and wild places, and animals doing cute things. I rarely have any political content. You can also unfollow people who are making your feed a difficult place if they’re not people you want to remove entirely. Unfollowing folks who post things that make your hair stand on end will save your sanity.
Don’t Watch the News Constantly
Remember me talking about how I miss the days of the twice-a-day news cycle? Recreate that by consuming your news content either when you get up in the morning (simulating reading the newspaper over coffee or listening to the morning broadcast while having breakfast) or in the evening. Or whatever timetable works for you.
Don’t spend all day drowning in news podcasts, YouTube videos, articles, and alerts. Unless something world-altering and urgent has happened (and typically you will hear about any major emergency within a few hours through friends and family and life), you don’t need to be constantly glued to the screen. Instead, catch up with what you feel you need to and then spend the rest of the day on other pursuits.
It’s so tempting to stay glued to the screen in case something happens, but watching the minute-by-minute newscast will not help you, nor will it be useful to you unless you live in a space where the minute-by-minute is extremely important (like it would be to someone living in one of the places directly dealing with Russian hostilities on their soil). This advice is intended for people who aren’t literally under the gun. If you are, you protect yourself however you need to.
Find Joy in Connection
With the pandemic being what it is and the world stage being what it is, most of us are feeling more and more like islands. It’s easy to become overwhelmed with everything happening if you feel like you’re facing it alone. So instead of doing that, find ways to connect. I don’t necessarily mean in person, depending on the safety factor right now, but having individuals and communities with whom you have found connection is incredibly important. My communities are mostly online, but I also have a few in person. While we aren’t seeing each other much due to the pandemic, they’re still there.
If it’s safe for you, maybe have coffee with a friend (even if it’s at your kitchen table rather than going out). Or do a group Zoom call for happy hour. Or even just exchange text messages with people you are close to. My Discord writing community has been hugely important to that end for me through the pandemic (I started it in 2020).
Discover or Engage in a Craft or Hobby
Many people have found new pursuits during isolation, and if you haven’t yet, maybe give it a go. One of my favorites is watching true crime channels on YouTube while crocheting. I also have started doing a huge number of fantasy maps by hand while playing with copic markers and watercolor. Whatever your hobby is, make some time to pursue it. While it may feel like a waste of time if you’re not making money at it (not everything has to be a hustle, trust me), the psychological benefits are significant. Bonus points if the hobby uses your hands and creates an end product. The dopamine rush of completing something is very real (and hugely important to us neurodivergent folks).
Whether it’s trying out a new recipe, crocheting a baby blanket, drawing fantasy maps, learning an instrument, learning a new language, creating art of any kind, or painting D&D miniatures, these hobbies and crafts have the benefit of a start, an end, and you having control over them. With my maps, I have complete control over the piece (insomuch as one controls watercolors). I decide what elements go where. What cities, what coastlines, rivers, lakes, and so on. I cannot control the world, the pandemic, the politics, or war in Europe. I can control whether I want to make that city right there at the edge of the water where it makes sense for trade routes. Ooh, and those happy little trees to the north. And…
I’m sure you got my point. Having small, constructive things you can control very much helps us parse the things we cannot.
I know some of these might feel trite, but they’ve been highly effective as survival mechanisms for me during this time, and the lessons come from things I learned in over a decade of therapy (which is an excellent way to cope with all this tension, too, if you’re able to get it). Grounding yourself, focusing on what you can control in a healthy, constructive manner, and connecting with the people around you is essential to weathering the madness we have been thrust into. Not all of these suggestions will work for everyone, and none of it is intended in lieu of getting professional help or medication if you need it.
Usually I write about writing and publishing and all that, but after the week we’ve had, I felt it important to cover some topics that are not strictly related to my typical content. However, my mind has been more on what’s going on than it has on my writing, so dipping a toe into discussing coping strategies seemed apropos. If you are feeling alone and don’t know who to turn to, shoot me an email. I’m going in for shoulder surgery on 3/1/22, so I may not be able to respond immediately, but I care, and if I can help I want to. You don’t have to do this alone.
